Wake Me Up When This is Over
by fmd-jade
Summary: Harvey took a deep breath before knocking on the door in front of him. It had taken him so long to get here. He was about to say things he'd sworn he'd never say. And he was afraid again. AU from 3x05, Harvey/Donna
1. Chapter 1

**Whatever you may read, this is Harvey/Donna. ****Written before episode 3x06. So basically, while we all suspected Stephen Huntley was up to no good, but had proof so far.**

**This was inspired - by the show of course - but also by all the other great stories I got to read here. Thank you, fellow writers!**

* * *

Donna splashed cold water into her face and braced herself on the counter of the women's bathroom at Pearson Darby. Pearson Darby_ Specter_ she corrected herself grimly. She inspected herself critically and wasn't surprised that she looked as fucked up as she felt. Her face felt bloated - thank God it didn't look that way- but a blind person with a stick could see the dark circles under her eyes.

She kept flashing back to that morning a few weeks ago, when she had still felt relatively normal and her life sure as hell had felt easier too. Not that it had been easy, but a girl could delude herself.

::

"_What would it take?"Stephen had asked, as he had caressed her bare back with his hand. He had been laying next to her in sheets that already felt too warm for her comfort._

"_What?" Donna's head had shot up and she'd looked at him with wide eyes._

"_What would it take for you to accompany me to London?"_

_::_

Donna snorted. She hadn't known then. Well she had known something. A little truth she only admitted to herself at the dead of night when Stephen had breathed deeply next to her.

She wouldn't leave Harvey.

She couldn't.

She had been forced to last year and it had nearly destroyed them. Nearly destroyed her. They had always been dancing a fine line between being friends and him being her boss and sometimes they had to drop the one in favor of the other. And now…

Now everything was just messed up. Harvey had won Ava's case. Darby would have backed him for managing partner, but Harvey had declined. Had even stopped the partners' meeting from happening. Stephen had gone back to London with Darby and Jessica and Harvey were no longer speaking to each other.

What a mess.

She glanced at the clock. 17:00. It should be safe to return to her desk again without Harvey asking where she had been for the last 30 minutes. He had formed this annoying habit of doing that. Questioning her whereabouts. Keeping her late at the office.

Donna ventured back outside, the hallways already emptying out at this hour on a Friday. When she rounded the corner, she could see him. Harvey was sitting at her desk, a scowl on his face. Donna took a deep breath and had to keep herself from wiping her hands down her dress. She looked perfect. And he wouldn't be able to tell if she felt otherwise from just looking at her.

"What's this still doing here?" Harvey asked sharply as soon as she stepped up to her cubicle. He held up a blue envelope and Donna felt like groaning.

::

"_Donna."_

_She looked up from the file she was putting together to see Stephen walking up to her cubicle._

"_Stephen." She said evenly. This whole fiasco with Stephen, Harvey and Ava had blown up in her face, just like she should have known it would and she didn't feel like playing nice now._

"_I'm leaving for London in a few hours."_

"_Oh really?! Have a good trip." Harvey said as he stepped out of his office at this exact moment and deposited a file on Donna's desk._

_The two men eyed each other warily, while Donna peeked into the folder. Empty. Just like she knew it would be._

_Stephen broke the eye contact with Harvey and looked down at Donna. Harvey stepped closer to her and put his hand on the back of her chair, hovering behind her._

_Stephen just huffed at this blatant display and pulled a blue envelope out of his inside pocket, letting it glide onto the counter._

"_If you ever change your mind." He said with a soft smile at Donna, giving Harvey a last look and turning around._

_Harvey scoffed. "What a moron."_

_Donna meanwhile grabbed the envelope and checked out its content. Her eyes widened._

"_What is it?"_

_Donna cleared her throat, tucked the paper back into the envelope and stored it on of her desk drawers._

"_A one way ticket to London. Date pending."_

_::_

"What are you doing at my desk?" She asked, hoping to get the right amount of playful indignity into her voice.

"Don't change the subject. Why do you still have this?"

Donna walked up to her chair and Harvey turned to face her but didn't budge. He pulled his hand back as Donna tried to make a grab for the envelope.

"Really?" Donna just asked and crossed her arms in front of her.

Harvey looked at her intently. "You can't keep holding this over my head."

"I'm not."

"Then what is it still doing here?"

Donna didn't say anything.

Harvey's gaze darkened. "Donna…?"

He watched her swallow hard and was sure that her eyes welled before she blinked away whatever emotion she felt and removed her gaze from his.

He got up from the chair. "My office. Right now." He strode away without checking to see if she would follow him. He didn't have to.

Donna closed glass door behind her, for whatever good it did, if only to gain a few more seconds. When she turned around, Harvey stood in the middle of his office, hands hidden in his pockets, a scowl on his face.

"Are you going to London?"

Donna shrugged. "I don't know. But I've thought about it." She admitted quietly.

Harvey took a deep breath. Everything was falling to pieces. He had made a mistake with Darby and thereby fell in disgrace with Jessica. And it was his fault alone. Donna and Mike had tried to warn him but he had been blinded by his bruised ego. It had hurt enough that Donna had slept with Huntley, but her leaving…

His eyes fell to the ground by her feet. He hadn't just lost her as a friend. He'd lost her as just about everything else. He hadn't realized how much their dynamic had changed. But now that he did…God, that hurt.

"Harvey, I am not trying to punish you," she said softly.

He looked up at her again, and the raw sadness in her face made him believe her.

"Then give me a reason. Anything to make me understand."

Donna blinked back tears and squared her jaw. This was Harvey. And despite everything that happened in the last decade, they were still here. Together. He was her best friend. Or she was his, she's never quite sure. But this, right here, telling her oldest friend, should not be this hard.

"I'm pregnant."

Harvey just looked at her.

His eyes fell to her flat stomach.

"Is it… Is it…" He was at a loss for words.

"His?" Donna asked annoyed. "Yes."

Harvey nodded. "Congratulations." He said with a thick voice. "How long have you known?"

"Since this morning. I was at the doctor's while you were in court." She admitted.

He nodded again before he turned around to pour himself a whiskey. He grimaced at the bitter taste. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." Donna said.

"Are you going to London?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to move there?"

"Harvey!" Donna said exasperatedly. "Stop interrogating me. If you could just please hold the judgment for now-"

"Judgment? There's no judgment!" Harvey cut in.

Donna just threw him a look. "Oh, please. I slept with your arch nemesis and now got the baby to show for it." She let herself fall down onto his sofa cushions. "Shit, Harvey. I'm going to have a baby." Donna said disbelievingly.

Harvey put his glass down and walked over to her, sitting down in the armchair closest to her.

"You want a drink?" He asked as he leant back in the armchair.

Donna chuckled. "Yes. Desperately."

"You can have one in about 9 months." He said self-saitisfied with a smirk playing around his lips.


	2. Chapter 2

**I was very surprised and humbled by the response I got for the first chapter. Thank you.  
So, I think this is going to be a fun ride.**

* * *

After a few minutes of companionable silence, Harvey thought about getting himself another drink – hell, he deserved one right now – but thought better of it.

"Did you tell him yet?" he asked a bit stiffly instead.

Donna shook her head and grimaced. "No." It was all she said.

"Did you talk to him ever since he left?"

"Harvey." Donna sighed. "It was supposed to be-" She interrupted herself and shook her head. "No, I didn't talk to him."

Harvey had to suppress a sigh.

Donna was pregnant.

With Stephen Huntley's baby.

There was no way this was going to end well.

When Donna had told him that she was sleeping with him, Harvey had tried to deal with it. And if he was being completely honest with himself, he had been crippled with envy. Not necessarily because he wanted to be with Donna. But he didn't want anyone else to be either. Harvey closed his eyes. He knew how fucked up that was. Before this whole mess with Darby backing him for managing partner, Donna had even seemed happy with Stephen. And he was just sickened with worry how easy it had been for a man to come along and find a way to Donna's heart. If it wasn't Stephen, it could be another one, just a few months down the road.

Taking his place in her heart.

The resentment Harvey felt over that was only rivaled by his guilt. Guilt that he couldn't let her be happy with anyone. Anyone _else_.

Could he be any more screwed up?!

"Well." Donna took a fortifying breath. "Come on, let's get this day over with."

"Wait." Harvey's soft call stopped her from getting up. She looked at him expectantly.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

She just rolled her eyes. "I'm pregnant, Harvey. It's not a disease. Women do this all the time."

Harvey clenched his jaw in frustration. "Yes, I know that. But are you okay? I mean are you happy about the baby?"

He didn't miss her looking down at her clenched hands in her lap. "I'm not doing cartwheels or anything, but… Yes. I think I'm happy about it." She sent him the ghost of a smile.

Harvey nodded thoughtfully. "Have you told anyone else? Rachel?"

Donna shook her head silently. "Just you."

::

Harvey nervously tapped his foot as he looked out to the hallway_. Again. _It was just as empty as it had been five minutes ago. It was Monday morning and he'd come to the office an hour early to get a head start on the day.

Not that he had gotten anything done in the last hour that he'd been here. Donna was due to arrive any minute now. And she would have told Stephen about the pregnancy.

God, he did not want that guy back here in New York.

Didn't want that at all.

And he just couldn't wrap his head around the idea of Donna with a baby.

He looked up immediately when he spotted movement out in the hallway.

Mike.

Harvey ground his teeth.

The younger man eagerly burst into his office, waving a file.

"Found it!"

Harvey just raised his eyebrows.

Mike frowned at him as he dropped down in the seat in front of his desk. "The merger? Didn't you go over the papers at the weekend?"

Harvey looked down at the file in front of him. He had read the first sentence probably a hundred times by now, but he had never made it further. "Yeah, I looked over it."

"Looked over it?" Mike asked in disbelief. "Harvey, the meeting is in a few hours, they are trying to screw our client and if we don't stop him, Porter's going to fall into his sword with a big smile on his face. Granted, it was very well hidden, but after playing Gears of War last night-"

"Gears of War?"

Mike looked mildly embarrassed. "Yeah. I got myself a Xbox for my birthday."

Harvey frowned. "Your birthday is not for another four months."

Mike just looked at him with wide eyes. "I'm touched that you know that, but that's beside the point right now. It was an early present, okay?"

Harvey held up his hands placatingly and motioned to him to go on.

"And since when are you so distracted?"

"Excuse me?" Harvey asked.

Mike took a deep breath. "I mean… you haven't been up to your A-game for weeks now. But this is big, Harvey. What's going on with you?"

Harvey peeked up as he spotted Donna outside. She was dropping her bag at her desk and took a last sip of coffee before coming over towards his office.

"Let's get something clear here." Harvey pinned him with a hard glare. "Nothing is going on. And if there was, it wouldn't be your business."

"Mike, get out." Donna said as she stepped into the office.

Mike turned around in his seat and looked between Donna and Harvey, gaping like a fish out of the water. "Now this tells me that something _is_ going on."

"Take care of this." Harvey said and tossed him the merger file.

Mike just shook his head and walked over to the door. "Fine, I know when I'm not wanted anymore. But we have to go and meet Porter."

Donna watched after him until he had passed her cubicle, all the while feeling Harvey's gaze pierce into her back.

Harvey watched her as she turned around slowly and made her way to his desk. He tried to catch her gaze but she looked down at her hands, braced on the back of his visitor's chair.

"So…" Donna said and breathed in sharply.

Harvey waited her out.

"I told Stephen." Donna said with a neutral expression.

"How'd he take it?" He asked, careful not to let any emotion seep through.

She finally looked up at him. "Not too bad. He wants me to move to London." She said with a false cheer.

Harvey's gaze darkened immediately. "You told him to go fuck himself, right?"

"Actually…" Donna hesitated. "I told him I'd think about it."

Harvey shook his head. "Don't do this, Donna."

"Do what?"

"Don't make this something it's not. You don't even know the guy. You spent six weeks with him, it's over. You haven't even talked to him for the last two months. And if it wasn't for this baby you would never talk to him nor see him again."

"Yes, but there is _this baby_, Harvey. I'm pregnant. And that's not something that's going to go away or resolve itself any time soon. Let's say for the next 18 years. And you know what? This doesn't even concern you."

"Like hell it doesn't." He got up from his seat, needing to be eye to eye with her. Needing to make her understand the significance of what she was implying here.

"You stay out of this Harvey! And I'm not asking you to, I'm telling you." Donna sighed and shook her head. "I didn't ask for this. And I didn't ask for the one person in the world who's opinion I care about to hate me for it."

"I don't hate you!"

"But you will at one point. Things are going to change, Harvey."

"They don't have to."

"Harvey." Donna sighed and shook her head at his thick-headedness.

Harvey relented. "Okay, so you'll have a baby." No big deal, right?

"Who's father is living in London." Donna added pointedly.

He just looked at her with a 'so what?' expression.

Donna put her hand to her forehead, as if trying to wield off a headache.

"Maybe it's time for me to start over."

Harvey did a double take. "In London?"

Donna nodded. "Maybe this is a chance for me to-"

"No." Harvey interrupted her harshly.

"Harvey-"

"No!" His voice reverberated around his office as they faced each other in a standoff.

The silence that followed his outburst was deafening as they faced each other. Donna's disbelief was clearly written all over her face. Harvey on the other hand tried his hardest to not let anything show, his face an inscrutable mask.

He squared his jaw as he saw tears gathering in her eyes.

"Guys?"

Harvey spun around to see Mike standing awkwardly in the doorway. How long had he been standing there? Out of the corner of his eye he saw Donna look the other way, blinking rapidly as she pretended to stare out his windows.

"Leave." Harvey said as he gave Mike a cold stare.

"I'd love to, but Porter's office called. The meeting was moved up and we really have to go and stop this from happening." Mike caught Harvey looking back at Donna, who was still facing away from him. "Now, Harvey. Ray is waiting downstairs."

Harvey felt like groaning, but nodded instead. He wanted to say something, but the sight of Donna's tense form rendered him speechless. Besides, Mike was still standing _right there_, waiting for him. Maybe it was for the best.

"Go, already." Donna suddenly said, sounding surprisingly normal. When Harvey met her gaze he could see that she was anything but. "You're in enough trouble with Jessica as it is."

He nodded brusquely and followed Mike out, without sparing her another look.

"Alright." He grabbed the file from Mike's hands. "You have 15 minutes to brief me."

::


	3. Chapter 3

**[AN]** I apologize for the delay, but this Chapter was strangely hard to write. Though I am happy with the Harvey/Louis part.

And again, thank you for your kind reviews.

* * *

„So… are we ever going to talk about this?"

Harvey spun around from where he was standing at the window, overlooking Manhattan in the fading light of the day. Donna strode into his office, closing the door behind her, determination on her face.

He suppressed a sigh. They had managed not to talk about_ it_ for a few days now. Mainly because he had been a stonewalling asshole, pretending to be too busy.

"Harvey?"

She looked tired. Worn out.

"What do you want to talk about?" Harvey asked, turning around fully, hands in his pockets.

Now it was Donna's turn to sigh and she closed her eyes briefly in disbelief. "Really? Is this how it's going to be? You just pretend like you don't care about any of this?"

Harvey met her eyes level with his. She was as tall as he was with her high heels and he actually preferred it that way. Eye to eye like equals. Because that's what they were. Sure, he might be her boss and bring in the big figures, but without people like Donna he wouldn't be as successful as he was. Wouldn't be as daring and completely sure of his own abilities.

He felt like snorting. People like Donna. There were no people, there was just her. He wouldn't be the lawyer he was if it wasn't for Donna. Period. Maybe even the man he was. Devoted, but constantly on his guard. Detached but yet twistedly committed to one woman, from whom he would not be parted.

And he knew he was being an ass on purpose. "Are you still thinking about moving to London?"

Donna evaded his gaze, pursing her lips. Harvey was on her in a second.

"He's a lying, manipulating son of a bitch, who screwed us all over. And he's back at the London office where he can rot in hell for all I care."

"Harvey-"

"No." He cut her off and stepped closer to her, meeting her in the middle of the room until he crowded her space. "And after everything that happened between us-"

"Oh please." This time it was Donna who interrupted him, taking a step back and crossing her arms in front of her. "After everything that happened between us, we're still in the same place we were ten years ago. Only that now I'm pregnant with a child whose father lives in London."

"But your life is here!"

Donna gave him a look that made him fell uneasy. A look of pity. "And what life is that?" She took a deep breath and continued more softly. "Harvey. When you asked me to come with you to this firm, I was in love with you. Did you know that?"

He stared back at her, his silence acting as his admission of guilt. He turned his head from her once more and struggled to find composure. This was it, he realized. This was the moment where the choice between the two of them was taken away from him.

"I put it behind me and basically put my life on hold to help you achieve your goals and be a better man. But now, I'm pregnant. And this is _my_ chance in life."

Harvey felt the unease tighten his insides. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"That I was in love with you? What, and make a fool out of myself? You were sitting there with those puppy dog eyes of yours and practically begged me to come with you. Telling me that you'd rather work with me than _be_ with me. What was I supposed to do? We'd always worked great together. Anything else didn't matter in that moment."

He stared back at her, miserable and heartbroken. He wanted to argue with her. He wanted to plead that yes, yes it did. _Because he had been in love with her too._

"Truth is, I'm terrified, Harvey. And instead of doubting me and every decision I make, it would be great if you'd support me instead."

"I can't." He said with finality, albeit unable to ignore the tears gathering in her eyes. "Not if it means you'll go to London."

The silence that followed was a torture that Harvey had not experienced before.

She lifted her head and squared her shoulders. "I don't know what to do." she admitted, and then pretended that she possessed the same natural, God-given ability to be calm and brave in the most difficult of circumstances that he had. "I just know that I don't want to screw this up. I want this child to be happy and healthy and have the world for the taking."

"Why haven't you told Rachel, yet?"

It was such an abrupt change of topic that Donna needed a second to clear her head. "How do you know I haven't?"

He just gave her a look. "Because Mike hasn't been in here gushing about it."

Donna just shrugged. "It hasn't felt right, yet."

"Being pregnant is nothing to be ashamed about." Harvey said softly.

Her eyes met his instantly. "I know." But how could she tell Rachel if she didn't even know what was going to happen.

Harvey nodded his head. "This is your choice. And we both have to live with it. So you better make sure it's the right one."

::

::

Harvey sat in his recliner, whiskey tumbler in his hand. He was glad his office was far enough from the main conference room that he didn't have to hear the cheery chatter and the music playing at Donna's going away party.

She had said she was not going to steal away at the dead of night, as if she had anything to hide. And she had been true to her word. Nobody but him knew she was pregnant. Ashamed or not, she hadn't wanted anyone at the office to know.

He felt sick to the stomach as he took another sip if his whiskey. Hurt and humiliated and upset that control of the decision had been taken from him. The juvenile urge to hurt Donna for hurting him grew in his chest, and his bitterness over the whole screwed up situation pushed an aching smile to his lips. He would not go to her party and Donna didn't expect him to. It's not as if they had talked much in the last three weeks.

"Harvey."

He looked up to see one his least favorite people standing in his doorway.

"Leave me alone, Louis." Harvey slurred.

"Oh my God, are you drunk?" Louis stepped further into the office and walked over to him.

"I said leave me alone." And his tone didn't leave much room for interpretation.

"What's wrong with you? Why aren't you at the party?"

Harvey looked around his office. He didn't want to talk to Louis. He didn't want to talk to anyone. But on the other hand, it was Louis. He was Donna's friend and there was a time Harvey thought he could trust him.

"Donna is leaving me." He said bitterly, rolling to glass around in his hands.

"Oh, gee, seriously?" Louis mocked him. "And here I was wondering what the going away party was for."

Harvey tilted his head and just gave him a silent look. Yeah. Talking to Louis had been a mistake.

"What did you do?" Louis asked instead. "What the hell did you do to drive her away for good?"

Harvey's eyes turned even colder and he had to restrain himself from throwing his glass at the other man.

"I didn't do shit. She's leaving me! It was her choice!" He shot back.

Louis just shook his head disbelievingly." You're so full of shit, Harvey. Donna loves you. She would never leave you on her own accord."

Harvey laughed. "Spare me, Louis."

Louis just huffed at Harvey's disbelief. He got himself a tumbler of whiskey and leaned against, the back of the armchair, facing Harvey. "Do you know what Donna's true calling would have been?" He swirled the amber liquid around in his glass.

Harvey just sighed, already tired of this conversation.

Of this day.

Of his life as it was right now.

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players." Louis quoted.

Harvey just looked at him confusedly.

"An actress." Louis elaborated. "Donna is one of the best actresses I've ever had the luck to meet."

"What the hell are you talking about?" He didn't want to, but Harvey was intrigued.

"Oh please. Maybe you were too busy plotting to take over the firm but I've seen that Donna put on a farce for everyone since her very first day here. Her whole persona is one big act. Sure, she is strong an witty and fierce and smart, but she builds on it, trying to hide her one big secret. It's all a giant show just to hide the fact that she is in love with you." Louis huffed. "And you are just too blind to see it. Too busy reading and playing people to see what a beautiful woman is right in front of you."

Harvey looked at him. Really looked at him. All he could see was pity.

"That's not true." He had known. Deep down, he thought he had always known.

"Yes it is." Louis said, not knowing what Harvey was talking about. "And if you just stopped focusing on yourself so much, you'd see it. Donna'd do everything for you, she put her whole life on hold to work for you and help you achieve whatever petty thing you set your mind to." He said disgustedly. "I don't know what she sees in you." He continues with less ire. "And you sure as hell don't deserve that gorgeous and perfect woman. But she loves you beyond any doubt."

"No." Harvey shook his head as his vision blurred. His eyes burned. She wouldn't do everything for him. She wouldn't stay.

Louis could see the struggle in Harvey. His gaze was fixed on his lap, his hand clenched around the whiskey tumbler, the other one gripping the arm rest.

"What happened?" Louis asked gently.

Harvey looked at him and Louis was surprised to see the tears gathering in his eyes.

"She's pregnant." He said with raw pain that made Louis speechless. Harvey just looked at him with a 'so there' expression.

"Is it…" Louis cleared his throat. "Stephen?"

Harvey nodded and downed the last of his drink, setting the tumbler aside. He got up on unsteady feet.

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Louis asked.

Harvey just shot him a look. "There's nothing for me to do." He said with resignation. "She made her choice."

"And what? You chose to do nothing about it?"

Harvey shot him a dark look. "Are you trying to make me punch you? Because I will."

Louis just rolled his eyes. "Yes. And when you're done throwing such an epic tantrum about it, maybe you can think of something to keep Donna here."

"She's not talking to me." Harvey said defiantly, his foggy mind registering that he sounded like a petulant child.

"Well, it looks like you're not talking to her either." Louis pointed out.

"Louis." Harvey said warningly.

"You can punch me, if you want to, although I really hope you don't. But the truth is still the same. Donna is right down the hall and you're here getting drunk and feeling sorry for yourself."

::

Rachel looked around the conference room that was bustling with people tonight.

"And that's how I stand on the debate of _The Dark Knight_ versus _The Dark Knight Rises_." Mike said next to her, taking a sip from his beer.

Rachel looked back at him in confusion. "What?"

Mike just raised his eyebrows. "Oh now you listen to me. I was just checking, because I had the impression my company would bore you."

"Oh shut up." Rachel just said and smacked his chest.

"What are you doing anyway?" Mike asked.

"Where the hell is Harvey?" She asked instead, pinning him with her eyes.

"I, uh, I don't know." Mike floundered. "He hasn't exactly been easy to talk to the last few weeks."

"Well, he should be here." Rachel decided with finality. "Maybe he could put a stop to this whole fiasco."

"What are you talking about?"

Rachel just rolled her eyes, before grabbing a hold of his sleeve and dragging him with her into the corner of the room.

"What am I talking about?" She hissed, hoping no one could overhear them. "Donna going to London of course. You can't be that clueless, Mike."

"I'm not." He defended himself. "But I don't know what's going on. Harvey isn't exactly forthcoming with information."

"Oh please." Rachel huffed. "We both know this thing with Stephen was just some fun. She doesn't love him. And she sure doesn't care for him enough that it warrants her to move to freaking London."

Mike cleared his throat warningly as Donna suddenly stepped up to them.

"Hey guys, everything okay over here? I hope I'm interrupting something." She said cheerfully.

"Yes, everything's great. It's a great-"

Rachel shot Mike a look and interrupted him. "No. Everything's not okay. We need to talk."

Donna could just look after her, as Rachel strode away, clearly expecting her to follow. She looked at Mike, who tried his best to hide behind his bottle of beer. She huffed and followed her friend instead.

Donna caught up with Rachel in front of the partner's kitchen and they stepped inside together.

"What's going on, Rachel?" Donna asked neutrally.

"That's what I want to know. You've been evading me ever since I got the memo for your party. You didn't even tell me why you're leaving."

"I'm leaving to be closer to Stephen." Donna said. It sounded rehearsed, something she could tell everyone else here at the firm, but not one of her closest friends.

Rachel just shook her head, clearly disappointed. "What's Harvey got to say about that?" She asked, playing along for now.

"Harvey doesn't get a say. This has nothing to do with him." Donna squared her shoulders, lifting her chin defiantly.

"Donna." Rachel said softly, stepping up to her friend and taking her hands. "What is going on? I know Stephen can't be the reason you leave all of this… all of _us_ behind."

This was it, Donna thought. Telling Rachel would make it all real. Because here was someone who was bound to get excited about a baby, who wanted to talk about it constantly. Harvey on the other hand had been safe. Harvey didn't gush and didn't want to know every tiny little detail. Telling Rachel would force Donna to pretend to be excited too.

Yes, she was happy about being pregnant. And yes, she truly thought a change was what she needed. It's not that she had never thought about having children, but Stephen Huntley had not been the man she dreamed of having them with. Now she was fully prepared to make the best of this. She just wasn't looking forward to it very much.

"Donna?" Rachel asked again.

"I'm pregnant."

Rachel just gaped at her. "The kind of pregnant where you have a baby?"

Donna just gave her a look, but it did make her smile. "Yes, Rachel."

"And it's Stephen's?"

Donna nodded, pressing her lips together.

"Wow." Rachel let go of Donna's hands and sat down in a chair. "You're pregnant… Are you and Stephen back together?"

Donna shook her head as she joined Rachel at the table. "No. But I want to do the right thing."

"What about everything _here_?" Rachel asked innocently.

The older woman just shrugged. "I don't know. But I have to try this. And it's not the way I ever imagined it and it's not ideal… and maybe it won't work out, but then I can look myself in the mirror and face my kid and honestly say that I gave it my best shot."


End file.
